NOT SATIRE: Obama Says Hillary Not ‘Treated Fairly’ by Media

For astute political analysis with his usual comedic twist, Steven Crowder delivers once again.

 

Let’s be clear, listening to this political nonsense has become boring, yet when delivered his way, it’s well worth the reader’s time.

Crowder is a wordsmith extraordinaire.

 

Louder with Crowder

Steve Crowder

December 18, 2016

 

 

To Barack Obama:

If it weren’t for eight solid years of suckage, I’d almost be sad to see you go.

You did have your comedic moments, even if you were the presidential equivalent of a malignant tumor.

Don’t let your looming unemployment status get you down, though.

You’ve got a bright future ahead of you.

Perhaps try your hand at accidental comedy. 

 

 

If the mom-jeans model gig doesn’t pan out.

Don’t let your looming unemployment status get you down, though.

You’ve got a bright future ahead of you. Perhaps try your hand at accidental comedy.

You’ve got a bright future ahead of you

 

Because that joke you made about Hillary Clinton getting trashed by the media was pure comic gold…

 

Honest question: what news networks were you watching this past election cycle?

Because the media I watched bent themselves into positions not even permissible in the kama sutra in trying to make the She-demon relatable.

 

Paul Newman, R.I.P “Slap Shot”

Let’s be honest. The media pushed the notion that Trump was a white supremacist, racist, sexist and a radical homophobe.

Because the media I watched bent themselves into positions not even permissible in the kama sutra in trying to make the She-demon relatable.

They were all in on ways to make that 69-year-old look like a cookie-shilling grandma, not a 69-year-old spawn of Satan.

Oh sure, they failed. You can put lipstick on a pig and it’s still a pig (remember saying that about Sarah Palin?).

Maybe next time make it Sriracha, not generic hot sauce in Hillary’s purse.

They were all in on ways to make that 69-year-old look like a cookie-shilling grandma, not a 69-year-old spawn of Satan.

Oh sure, they failed. You can put lipstick on a pig and it’s still a pig (remember saying that about Sarah Palin?). Maybe next time make it Sriracha, not generic hot sauce in Hillary’s purse.

If they had reported in a fair and balanced manner, Hillary would have easily landed herself in the big house.

Not the one you’re thinking of, though.

Their office spaces are 8×10, not oval. Orange pantsuits are aplenty. Bonus: the residents are hulking lesbians eager to get a little lady-love action on.

Bonus: the residents are hulking lesbians eager to get a little lady-love action on.

Didn’t matter.

The American people saw past what the media was attempting at selling Hillary as anything other than corruption personified, and pulled the lever for the orange-haired tycoon.

Not because the media was “unfair,” but because Hillary is a horrendous human being less suited to run the White House, more suited to run the seventh level of hell. Her pantsuited flying she-monkeys like Dunham and Schumer could round out her fiery cabinet of miserable lady demons.

Hey, if the pantsuits fit…

 

THE END