Breaking: Putin Kidnaps Rachel Maddow

By Jim Campbell

June 7, 2017


In spite of her best attempt and aiming with a double barrel shotgun, Vladimir Putin’s goons have taken Maddow, an anti-gunner, away from her comfy confines at MSNBC and moved her to Siberia where they plan to open a new television station.


Maddow is fine with having her own armory but not commoners.


Attempts to contact management and programming at M.S.N.B.C., were futile. “No comment.”

We were not actually worried that “Ricky Maddow,” might have been poisoned by the Russians in retaliation for her constant, night-after-night, backbreaking work of reporting on the very weird and byzantine story of Russia’s hacking of the 2016 election and Team Trump’s possible collusion, being as far up the ass of the Russia story as she is.

The Russians have contacted her former station and promised to take “Good care of her.”)

But the lefty hate spewing forums were ablaze all weekend as to what had happened to their Rachael last week. 


Then we got on Face Book and the Tweeter and it turned out a lot of other people were like, WHERE IS SHE? WE ARE WORRIED.” 

She is no longer posting.

But word is she’ll be back, hopped up on drugs, so she can continue to report on Jared Kushner begging Russia for a secret Russian spy phone, so he could tell Russian spies his secrets.

Yes, in a breaking yet unpublished report, Putin has agreed to exchange her for someone of equal caliber who is not so obnoxious, speaking Russian would also be a plus.

Hopefully, she’ll be back to tell everyone, all fifteen of her viewers, about how brave she was and only gave up some secret info she had already broadcast on her the Intercept and proved Trump and the Rooskies are in cahoots. 

Sadly for her, she was unable to proved Trump and the Rooskies are in cahoots. 


At least now NBC News president Andy Lack can stop having nightmares of replacing all the night-time liberal content with three straight hours of Greta Van Susteren incessantly asking “Hey know what I think?  






About JCscuba

I am firmly devoted to bringing you the truth and the stories that the mainstream media ignores. Together we can restore our constitutional republic to what the founding fathers envisioned and fight back against the progressive movement. Obama nearly destroyed our country economically, militarily coupled with his racism he set us further on the march to becoming a Socialist State. Now it's up to President Trump to restore America to prominence. Republicans who refuse to go along with most of his agenda RINOs must be forced to walk the plank, they are RINOs and little else.
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